Waring® Popcorn Maker

If lack of counter top space
is no consideration in your place,
and shoving popcorn in you waiting face,
is in line with your daily pace

Then I would suggest to you
A device that takes its cue
From a larger point of view
This movie style of popper should do

Magnetter Espresso Key & Letter Holder

Ahem. Here we go again. This next gizmo is a perfect example of the rift that exists between the designers 'vision' and the owners reality. behold the magnet key and letter holder.

First and foremost. and interesting idea. But my life doesn't look like that.

For one thing my key ring has a car key on it, which would easily double it's size. For the most part my keys are sparser than most folks. For example, my wife's is an enormous glob of keys, fob and little extras that would surely never stick to this trendy warped board. No, we'd be putting an nasty old nail right in the center of this MDF beauty before the end of day one.

By the way, when did medium density fiberboard become a "touch of modernity?"

Additionally our mail tends to be about 7 times this amount, loaded with ginormous flyers, newspaper sized ads and a stack of bills 7 envelopes thick. Anyway, it may look fine in on the showroom floor or in the eye of some starving artists, but I doubt it has much use in the real world.

You'll notice that there are no reviews...

The Swimming Pool Bistro Set

Clearly I'm in the wrong business. Here someone is selling a patio set, that you place in your pool. The best part is that it retails at nearly one thousand dollars.


Am I missing something? Couldn't I put my forty-eight dollar set in the pool? Even if it rust and I have to replace it ten times. I've still spent less!

Bacon Air Freshener

I found it. We have it. It's here. Throw out your pine and candle air freshener and replace them with something worth while!
The bacon air freshener, will bring new life to your old car. Sure some minor pork cravings might be on the rise, but still, bacon in your car. All the time! Go go get it

Mustard Marvin Spread Head

Um... Could this be any more wrong? I submit that it cannot. I think this requires very little describing.
Yes, you use this to dispense and spread your condiments, by attaching it to the bottle. Mustard appears to have the best effect. Love it or get sick. Whichever works best for you.

Magic Bean

If beans could express emotion, what exactly would they say?

"Bean Missing You"
"Thanks for Beaning There"
"Bean Feeling Better?"

The Magic Beans are bean plants that have been carved with secret messages that you will see when they grow above the surface! Of all the crazy ideas I've ever had, I have to tell you, this one never occurred to me.

The Video Camera Pen.

Honest. No really, no joke. I swear, you can record over 2 hours of video from your breast pocket on a pen. James Bond never even saw this one coming!

I can't think of a single reason why I would ever need one of these, but every molecule of my geekhood is screaming right now, "PUT IT ON THE CREDIT CARD! WE NEED IT." You may or may not understand.

Metal Detecting Sandals

Wanna find loot at the beach but not look like a geek toting around the giant metal detector? Well, that is a strange request, but I think we've got your solution!
The Metal Detecting Sandals, solve your too cool to detect but too broke not to look syndrome. Simply shuffle up and down the beach, and then casually dig for buried loot!

Peanut Butter Machine

Did you know that peanut butter, that wonderful creamy topping actually COMES from PEANUTS?! Well. for some folks this will be news. introducing the amazing, "Peanut Butter Machine!"
You put peanuts in the top and what comes out right in the front of this little wonder? Peanut Butter! You can dial in your setting between chunky and smooth. Absolutely amazing! Now, you just need a supply of peanuts...

Squeez Bacon®

I'd like to tell you I didn't find this.

A few years after WWII ended, a young man working in a small restaurant in Sweden developed a new way to process bacon. By precooking it and blending it in a special way, he was able to make a fully cooked 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube.

Is it for real?! See for yourself Either way, Squeez Bacon® will forever change your perspective on bacon!